Prince Albert is a royal prick.

He’s the most famous one on the planet – wealthy, gorgeous, and a notorious playboy. He’s also the most conceited, insufferable, arrogant man I’ve ever met.

Did I mention he’s a freaking prince? An actual, real life Prince Not-So-Charming.

He’s tattooed and pierced, too. Prince Albert has a Prince Albert piercing. That's right – he's pierced you-know-where. Allegedly. I’ve never seen it.

My mother is marrying a king. Being a princess is every girl’s fantasy, right?

Except that means Albie is my new stepbrother.

Oh, and one more thing -- I accidentally married him.

We’re keeping the biggest secret on the planet.

Ever heard the fairy tale about the Princess and her stepbrother?

Yeah, I didn’t think so.

I’m royally screwed.