Therapist · Researcher · Author

I believe your struggles are the beginning of your story, not the end.

I’m Jay Stringer—a licensed mental health counselor and researcher. For 15+ years I’ve helped thousands make sense of unwanted patterns and unmet longings and turn them into a path for healing and growth. My work equips you to read your story and form desire into your greatest ally.

What I do:
I help people engage the forces shaping their desire, sexuality, and relationships so they can move toward lives of freedom, connection, and meaning. My practice and programs focus on the patterns we most want to change—pornography use, affairs, low desire, conflict, and relational distance—and the longings underneath them.

Research & writing:
I’m the author of Unwanted: How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way to Healing (100,000+ readers), grounded in a study of nearly 4,000 adults and used by clinicians and communities worldwide. My forthcoming book, Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow (Random House, 2026), offers a new framework for five core longings—wholeness, growth, intimacy, pleasure, and meaning—and shows how to form desire into a force that restores connection and purpose.

Education:
MA in Counseling Psychology and MDiv, The Seattle School of Theology & Psychology. Trained in both counseling psychology and spiritual formation; integrates trauma-informed care, adult development, and narrative work.

I live in New York City with my wife, Heather, and our two children.

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